FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize