Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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