what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
