I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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