I think I won the penis lottery.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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