That's intense
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
