hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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