walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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