Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
