Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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