Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
