some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
