Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
