We won't sleep together?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
