I like my sex mixed with concussions.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize