I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
