what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
