its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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