You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
3 2 1 whiskey
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
