it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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