ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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