This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
