how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
