awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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