If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
