Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im holly from the hills drunk
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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