oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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