Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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