I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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