my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
