after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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