I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
