booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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