I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize