your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
