Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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