I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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