I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
