Already got asked if we're dating
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
