He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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