omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
