Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
