mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
