what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
