Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
