yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Buhtt sex?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
