By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
