My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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