So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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