but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
