you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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