There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she told me i tasted like america
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize