The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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