I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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