Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
