We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
