She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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