He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm sobbing to NWA
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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