I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
