I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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