At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize