I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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