I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my being single is dangerous.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
