____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
