Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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