We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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