3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize