god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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