I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
