Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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