Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
