Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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