its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
