Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
