My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
