SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize