I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
