Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
