new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
