Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
