its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
