its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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