seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize