he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
